Memang x dinafikan bila dah ada anak, automatically, both
husband and wife will have a different dimention of how’s life being viewed. Ini
lah yg buat I want to write. Im writing this, especially for u dear daughter Qaseh
Azalia.
Sambung cerita yg semalam.
Starting from that day, ibu......
is feeling miserable inside. Office
workload sbb hujung sem need to settle all assessments marks n what not. Studies
need when the event is just around the corner n there r so many things needed
to b caught up. The need to attend d event if not, Im failing myself n wasted all that I have done for d
whole semester. So, end up xde mood. Blk rumah muka moyok. Masak pn mls.
Me myself cannot imagine how failed am I s a mother when I cannot
make myself available to watch my daughter’s very 1st convocation. Finally,
I ended up…. Nangis. Huhu… what to do somemore. Pergi office, blk, pergi
office, blk. Then, I got an idea of making myself happy by making u happy. Masa
tengah2 bulan, ni semua parents mmg xde duit dh syg. Same goes to us. Lagi2 ibu
yg mmg byk pakai belanja sebab nk kne spent for travel to go to my epjj
classes. Tp xpe. when we thought of the kid’s happiness, insyaAllah pasti ada
jalan. So, ibu pn jlnlh.
Rakyat jelata rata2 dok buat surprise to their loved 1. Therefore,
I’m thinking of the same idea. Planning for a surprised for u on your big day. Duit
xdak nih. Tp plan tetap kne jln, by hook or by crook. Siapa blh tolong, ye…??? Then,
ibu come across uncle zaim n the gang (my debate team. Mcm ank2 ak dh). So tanyalah.
Blh x diorg tolong buat surprised? Nk mintk tolong any of them who can bring my
very own version of chocolate bouquet to sjkc Masai d venue for the event. After a few discussion, then uncle zaim
agreed to help.
Then, I pushed ayah to send me to econsave. I do my chocolate
shopping there. Kinderjoy, kinderbueno, cadburry, Ferrero apa jaklah yg ada. Including
my coffee, abislh nearly rm100 kt situ (swiping with closed eyes sbb mmg dh xde
cash).ibu really want to make u remember the day. Its ok. Anything will do (imagine if I just hire any surprised planner. mesti lagi mahal....dang!!!) Before
that, we went together to ecorm2 shop n do shopping for gifts on my nextday
event. Coloring contest at KTMB Bangsar Kuarters. Its my pre-event before our
final grand event there. I bought a sofea-d-first basket for the bouquet
purposes. Nobody ever wonder anything weird had happen. So my plan safed.
That Friday, ibu need to invigilate final exam. Friday. On public
holiday. Stress. X dpt cuti ganti, sbb jg 2 jam je. Stress lg. that morning, I brought
all d things that I’ve bought to bilik kain n do my project. Qaseh went to
school s usual s u r not following Johor’s public holiday. Ibu manage to finish
d decoration but never thought of snapping any pic of its (owh...). we had our
lunch s yes, u both sent ibu to work with ayah n ibu asked to stop by uncle
zaim’s house b4 that. I managed to pass him d plastic bag (containing d
bouquet) without any question from u guys. Haha… n ooppsss ibu tlupa to pass a
plastic containing chocolates which were d extra that I thought of giving it to
uncle zaim s upah. Its ok then… I still have time.
We went to pasar malam s usual on Friday (which we never
done for so long). Buy what is necessary n wanted, then we go home. We had our
dinner together. Its about time to leave u gurls. My train is at 12 midninght. Dengan hati yg berbelah bagi, ibu pergi jgk
naik tren n x cium pn u gurls sbb xnk both my sweetypies trjaga blk. Dua2 dh
tertidolh maknanya sbb kne aircond kereta n dh mmg mlm sgt, kot… hmmm n ibu pn
suruh ayah blk je. Xyah la tunggu. Ad je akak kt kaunter tu blh tmankn. Ibu pn
mengisi kekosongan mlm tu dgn sambong baca buku #anakanakabah. ( owh sblm htr
ibu, we went to uncle zaim’s house again to pass him d remaining chocolate s
promises. Pn xde sapa perasan. Hehe… (bila kita buat muka biasa mcm xde pape,
maka semua akan jd mcm biasa n xde pape. Kn????)
Esok tu… ibu called early morning to wake u guys up. Ayah ckap,
dia dh bgn. Anak2 je blm. So ayah settled himself 1st n start
preparing u gurls for qaseh’s big day. G.R.A.D.U.A.T.I.O.N. the second time ibu
called, I was already at the venue of my event. I saw the kids. They reminded
me of u both sweethearts. How bad am I to not able to b there with u. ibu keep
telling my friends that its ur convocation n concert today n I missed it. (so
bad….)
When the event started, ibu dh x tgk fon sbb bz menguruskn
anak2 yg join d coloring contest. X seronok sgt pn dlm hati sbb buat ank2 org
lain gelak, tp tinggalkn ank sendiri pada hari penting. (sedeh). Xpelh. I’ve
took it s a challenge to myself. Pasti ada hikmah. Kalau x dpt A, x taulh.
Our event ended around 12 noon. Masa tu dh lega. X sbr nk
call tanya how’s ur preparation. I took my phone n watsapp from ayah was
already there. U both r wearing that Barbie princess cut gown of course u both
look gorgeous on it. Splendid
Uncle zaim texting me to know d time. around 2pm n I told him
that u were already ready for the show. Few second later, ayah sent ibu yr
video performing cute dancing. Ibu told uncle zaim that u hav performed n he
felt so sad that he cannot watched it live. Huhu… he told ibu that he could not
manage to get the ‘congratulation’ balloon. Its ok then. ….
Uncle zaim send ibu a pic of u with d bouquet. I was shed with
tears. Itu je yg ibu blh buat utk buat qaseh rasa ibu ada n rasa happy. I was
already touched when kakak tanya,’ ibu, ibu dtg x concert kakak?’ I said no.
I cannot attend it bcz I need to go for my event. Then kakak replied; ’ala…nnt
ibu x dpt la tgk kakak dancing.’ Ibu said, ‘sorry. Tp xpe, ayah ad tgkkn. Nnt ayah
record n send d video to ibu, k. ibu tgk video je pn xpe.’ N u happily replied.
Haa… mcm tu pn blh. Tgk video pn blh.’ How innocent u r kid… (hmmmphh…)
Ibu view d video again in my friends car on my way to
cyberjaya. N yes. I cried again.
...
Sekianlah kisah seorang ibu yang tewas dengan tugas yg menghimpit
tanggungjawab antara cinta dan cita-cita.
Semoga terus berusaha untuk menjadi yg lebih baik, Julia.
#insyaAllahBoleh
Ada orang melihat perkara ini sebagai perkara kecil aja dlm
kehidupan. Tp inilh misi hidup saya. Utk pastikan ank2 rasa khadiran saya dlm
hidup mereka. Utk saya ad utk gembirakan anak2 saya. Saya meletakkan ini sebagai
satu titik hitam kegagalan saya sebagai seorang ibu. Utk saya buat pengajaran
dan sempadan dalam hidup saya agar saya sentiasa mgubah diri menjadi ibu yang
lebih baik. Bukan utk siapa2. Tp utk ank2 saya. Cukuplh. Itu mmg sudah memadai
utk saya punya matlamat dalam hidup saya. Memberi makna utk jd yg bermakna.
I love u both kids. #qasehazalia #qisyazalia moga membesar
jd anak solehah yg berjaya dunia dan akhirat. amin.
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