QASEH AZALIA CONVOCATION DAY CHALLENGES part 2

Memang x dinafikan bila dah ada anak, automatically, both husband and wife will have a different dimention of how’s life being viewed. Ini lah yg buat I want to write. Im writing this, especially for u dear daughter Qaseh Azalia.

Sambung cerita yg semalam.

Starting from that day, ibu......

 is feeling miserable inside. Office workload sbb hujung sem need to settle all assessments marks n what not. Studies need when the event is just around the corner n there r so many things needed to b caught up. The need to attend d event if not, Im failing  myself n wasted all that I have done for d whole semester. So, end up xde mood. Blk rumah muka moyok. Masak pn mls.

Me myself cannot imagine how failed am I s a mother when I cannot make myself available to watch my daughter’s very 1^st convocation. Finally, I ended up…. Nangis. Huhu… what to do somemore. Pergi office, blk, pergi office, blk. Then, I got an idea of making myself happy by making u happy. Masa tengah2 bulan, ni semua parents mmg xde duit dh syg. Same goes to us. Lagi2 ibu yg mmg byk pakai belanja sebab nk kne spent for travel to go to my epjj classes. Tp xpe. when we thought of the kid’s happiness, insyaAllah pasti ada jalan. So, ibu pn jlnlh.

Rakyat jelata rata2 dok buat surprise to their loved 1. Therefore, I’m thinking of the same idea. Planning for a surprised for u on your big day. Duit xdak nih. Tp plan tetap kne jln, by hook or by crook. Siapa blh tolong, ye…??? Then, ibu come across uncle zaim n the gang (my debate team. Mcm ank2 ak dh). So tanyalah. Blh x diorg tolong buat surprised? Nk mintk tolong any of them who can bring my very own version of chocolate bouquet to sjkc Masai d venue for the event. After a few discussion, then uncle zaim agreed to help.

Then, I pushed ayah to send me to econsave. I do my chocolate shopping there. Kinderjoy, kinderbueno, cadburry, Ferrero apa jaklah yg ada. Including my coffee, abislh nearly rm100 kt situ (swiping with closed eyes sbb mmg dh xde cash).ibu really want to make u remember the day. Its ok. Anything will do (imagine if I just hire any surprised planner. mesti lagi mahal....dang!!!) Before that, we went together to ecorm2 shop n do shopping for gifts on my nextday event. Coloring contest at KTMB Bangsar Kuarters. Its my pre-event before our final grand event there. I bought a sofea-d-first basket for the bouquet purposes. Nobody ever wonder anything weird had happen. So my plan safed.

That Friday, ibu need to invigilate final exam. Friday. On public holiday. Stress. X dpt cuti ganti, sbb jg 2 jam je. Stress lg. that morning, I brought all d things that I’ve bought to bilik kain n do my project. Qaseh went to school s usual s u r not following Johor’s public holiday. Ibu manage to finish d decoration but never thought of snapping any pic of its (owh...). we had our lunch s yes, u both sent ibu to work with ayah n ibu asked to stop by uncle zaim’s house b4 that. I managed to pass him d plastic bag (containing d bouquet) without any question from u guys. Haha… n ooppsss ibu tlupa to pass a plastic containing chocolates which were d extra that I thought of giving it to uncle zaim s upah. Its ok then… I still have time.

We went to pasar malam s usual on Friday (which we never done for so long). Buy what is necessary n wanted, then we go home. We had our dinner together. Its about time to leave u gurls. My train is at 12 midninght.  Dengan hati yg berbelah bagi, ibu pergi jgk naik tren n x cium pn u gurls sbb xnk both my sweetypies trjaga blk. Dua2 dh tertidolh maknanya sbb kne aircond kereta n dh mmg mlm sgt, kot… hmmm n ibu pn suruh ayah blk je. Xyah la tunggu. Ad je akak kt kaunter tu blh tmankn. Ibu pn mengisi kekosongan mlm tu dgn sambong baca buku #anakanakabah. ( owh sblm htr ibu, we went to uncle zaim’s house again to pass him d remaining chocolate s promises. Pn xde sapa perasan. Hehe… (bila kita buat muka biasa mcm xde pape, maka semua akan jd mcm biasa n xde pape. Kn????)

Esok tu… ibu called early morning to wake u guys up. Ayah ckap, dia dh bgn. Anak2 je blm. So ayah settled himself 1^st n start preparing u gurls for qaseh’s big day. G.R.A.D.U.A.T.I.O.N. the second time ibu called, I was already at the venue of my event. I saw the kids. They reminded me of u both sweethearts. How bad am I to not able to b there with u. ibu keep telling my friends that its ur convocation n concert today n I missed it. (so bad….)

When the event started, ibu dh x tgk fon sbb bz menguruskn anak2 yg join d coloring contest. X seronok sgt pn dlm hati sbb buat ank2 org lain gelak, tp tinggalkn ank sendiri pada hari penting. (sedeh). Xpelh. I’ve took it s a challenge to myself. Pasti ada hikmah. Kalau x dpt A, x taulh.

Our event ended around 12 noon. Masa tu dh lega. X sbr nk call tanya how’s ur preparation. I took my phone n watsapp from ayah was already there. U both r wearing that Barbie princess cut gown of course u both look gorgeous on it. Splendid

Uncle zaim texting me to know d time. around 2pm n I told him that u were already ready for the show. Few second later, ayah sent ibu yr video performing cute dancing. Ibu told uncle zaim that u hav performed n he felt so sad that he cannot watched it live. Huhu… he told ibu that he could not manage to get the ‘congratulation’ balloon. Its ok then. ….

Uncle zaim send ibu a pic of u with d bouquet. I was shed with tears. Itu je yg ibu blh buat utk buat qaseh rasa ibu ada n rasa happy. I was already touched when kakak tanya,’ ibu, ibu dtg x concert kakak?’ I said no. I cannot attend it bcz I need to go for my event. Then kakak replied; ’ala…nnt ibu x dpt la tgk kakak dancing.’ Ibu said, ‘sorry. Tp xpe, ayah ad tgkkn. Nnt ayah record n send d video to ibu, k. ibu tgk video je pn xpe.’ N u happily replied. Haa… mcm tu pn blh. Tgk video pn blh.’ How innocent u r kid… (hmmmphh…)

Ibu view d video again in my friends car on my way to cyberjaya. N yes. I cried again.

...

Sekianlah kisah seorang ibu yang tewas dengan tugas yg menghimpit tanggungjawab antara cinta dan cita-cita.

Semoga terus berusaha untuk menjadi yg lebih baik, Julia. #insyaAllahBoleh

Ada orang melihat perkara ini sebagai perkara kecil aja dlm kehidupan. Tp inilh misi hidup saya. Utk pastikan ank2 rasa khadiran saya dlm hidup mereka. Utk saya ad utk gembirakan anak2 saya. Saya meletakkan ini sebagai satu titik hitam kegagalan saya sebagai seorang ibu. Utk saya buat pengajaran dan sempadan dalam hidup saya agar saya sentiasa mgubah diri menjadi ibu yang lebih baik. Bukan utk siapa2. Tp utk ank2 saya. Cukuplh. Itu mmg sudah memadai utk saya punya matlamat dalam hidup saya. Memberi makna utk jd yg bermakna.

I love u both kids. #qasehazalia #qisyazalia moga membesar jd anak solehah yg berjaya dunia dan akhirat. amin.

HARI CONVOCATION QASEH

#kisahqasehdantadikamatahari

convocation Tadika Matahari 5 Nov 2016

Perasaan seronok untuk buat persembahan sempena Annual Concert Tadika Matahari memang dah terpamer sebulan sebelum menjelang concert lagi. Biasalah. Sebab dah start training session, kn.... jadinya, ibu, ayah & qisya pn memang dh tau dh yang kakak qaseh akan perform pada pada concert tu. Cuma lagunya je kami x paham. Sbb qaseh x blh nyanyi penuh (ingat2 lupa). Ibupn x pandai sgt kids rhymes ni. (ibu dulu masok taski n pasti . pandai lagu nasyid ja.  hehe...)

 Lebih kurang 3 minggu sebelum hari kejadian, adalah memo tentang rehearsal yg akan dibuat utk persedian concert. Masa tu, ibu pn kne outstation bwk debate team pergi tournament. Ibu pergi dulu, baru qaseh dibawak aunty van ke SJKC Masai utk rehearsal. Since then, ibu dh aware yg concert pasti dh x lama. Probably 1 or 2 weeks lagi. tp no memo pasted on her book. So, ibu lek2 je.

Bermula 2 oktober 2016 ibu dah start my new semester in UiTM (dihatiku). This time around, ibu peg sendiri je. Kadang ambik tren, kadang ambik flight (time tiket murah) sebab class on every sunday. So, sabtu mlm, memang my two princesses tido dgn ayah je. Ada jgk tdo kt taska sbb ayah ada trip(sedeh lagi). Sibuk dengan debate team n class, en. Cinte helped me a lot to cope with all d hassle. Therefore, I always reminded him to check on d homework n her notebook for any updates.

Ada 2 minggu yg I need to be outstationed on both weekends. That time was two weeks after the rehearsal. I was already wondering when is the date for the concert as the coming Sunday is Johor’s Hari Hol. The next night that I came back home from my weekend class, I feel like  checking her bag n yes. The memo for the concert was already pasted in the book. it was pasted before depavali leaves n I was outstation for a pidato competiton in KL (there goes my weekend). And it will be held on… 5 nov 2016 Saturday on the same date for my final project event in Bangsar.

Basahlah hati ibu dengan airmata bersalah sbb dh tau x dpt attend d concert. Worse case happened when ayah was already planning a trip to Kelantan n Terengganu bringing TNB’s staff (business baru ayah).

Ibu pn straight away inform my team tru watsapp that if I can skip the event n attend your once n for all final 6years concert n convocation. Maka drama pn bermula. That everybody had their own constraint yet they still make themselves available, n blaa2….which I’ve already imagined. Then fine. Ibu paksa ayah to find him a replacement driver. Ibu pn samalah. Abis abg driver kt pis tu ibu msg mintk forward siapa yg blh ganti utk bwk trip to Kelantan dgn offer byarn yg cecah gaji minimum sebulan (erh.. mcm kebetulan plak) walaupn utk 3 hari je.  Byk jgk reply yg masok. Tp semuanya ada hidden agenda. Nk bwk spouse jenjln sbb semua tanya blh bwk sorg lg x? I was like huh…… (kalau blh mmg kasik dh. Tp seat mmg pnoh.) Kelantan ni mmg hot place I tell u. semua nk pergi. Dh pergi pn nk jgk pergi lg. sampailh pkol 11.49 mlm 2 november 2016 ayah send ibu this watsapp telling that replacement driver found. Alhamdulillah… barulh malam tu kami tido lena. At least 1 masalah dh selesai. Ayah will be able to attend your convocation.

Starting from that day, ibu ……

Sambung nnt part 2. Letih dh